lets talk labor....

Shall we???

I think Labor Day is the perfect day to discuss my labor experiences...
I mean after all what is labor day without a little labor??
I had relatively easy labors for both my boys. I was lucky. But I do have stories for both of them so I think Ill share with you today... (you are all so lucky)
First let me say that these are my experiences only. I know hospitals have a ton of different nurses and doctors and staff and that I only dealt with a handful of people. In no way am I saying anything bad about the hospital as a whole. Just my stay there... OK now that I have made my disclaimer, lets talk Stink!
I was due for Blake on May 4, 2008. I went into labor on April 30th in the early early morning. I had a doctor appt in the morning as well and I told them I was pretty sure I was in labor, they checked and said they could feel Blake's hair and then they told me I could go back to work.
Um what???
Michael quickly informed me that I would not be going back to work. Which was a good call because I was contracting all day, plus I had restaurants to hit up since I knew once I got to the hospital I wouldn't be eating. 
So we called the hospital and we're told to come in around 3:30 pm, I think. When I got there I had to fill out a ton of paper work (in between contractions) and then they got me in my room and I had to get my IV. I had Blake at a teaching hospital so sometimes there are people learning techniques on you.I guess you can tell them that you would prefer only trained professionals work on you but I didn't know that and honestly I probably wouldn't have said anything anyway.
But I should have.
The man who did my IV when I first got to the hospital was very nice. He was excited for Michael and I, and probably to get his hand on an IV needle. It took like 25 minutes for him to try and get my IV in, it hurt so bad and it was an epic fail, and I am pretty veiny (is that a word?). I had a GIANT black and blue on the inside of my arm. It was huge, and when the doctor came in to re-do my IV he had to put it in the top of my hand because my arm was such a mess. That time it took 12 seconds.
My mom, dad and sister, my now mother and father in law, my cousin Danielle, my cousin Kira and Elijah, my cousin Shana and my Aunt Paulann all came and stayed with me, at least for some time. I think. Its all blurry. Anyway, I was in good company and from what I remember things were going okay.
I remember needing my epidural and the same "student" who tried to put my IV in came in to do it. I seriously almost shit myself. I was worried because I had heard how much epidurals hurt, how they can paralyze you and they didn't even try to hide the size of the needle. To add insult to injury I had Ol' rusty hands about to stick said needle in my spine. They made everyone leave except Michael who could sit behind my nurse and just hear what was going on (side note: my nurse didn't speak much English).
It was awful. I cried so hard getting that epidural I had snot coming out of my nose. Like long hangy snot. and I couldn't move so it was just hanging and I was just crying. It took like an hour. Have you ever had an epidural? It should take like 15 minutes. Michael told me after they were done (and student of the year high fived me for sticking it through) that he was about to jump over my nurse and deck the guy. That would have been delightful. But I can't blame him cause he could not do one thing for me. He just had to sit.
The epidural did work and things were going smoothly again. We were all hanging out but my contractions were getting stronger so I told Michael to tell them I needed more medicine. When they came in they said I couldn't have anything else because it was time to push.
I made everyone leave except Michael. The nurse came in and when I asked her how long I was going to have to push for she said it could take hours. hours? I looked at Michael and informed him I would not be pushing for an hour. It was really quiet so I asked that the TV be put on (it was Top Chef) and that the mirror be removed (no thanks, I'm good). Then the nurse with the broken English told Michael to grab my foot bahahhahahahahahahahahahhahhahahahaha... someone was not prepared to hear those words. And then I pushed and I pushed and I pushed and about 20 minutes later Blake Michael Porter was born.
They didn't ask Michael if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord and didn't even show Blakey to me. There wasn't a thing wrong with him, I just don't think anyone cared enough to make the experience special for Michael and I.
So I tended to all the business that a woman must tend to once they give birth and they told me he weighed 6lbs 14 oz. Umm excuse me? No. That baby should weigh at least 9 pounds.
Not just because of how large he felt coming out but also because I had gained SIXTY POUNDS!! I was convinced that my baby was going to be at least 8 lbs. Sick joke. I should have put the cotton candy pints down and drove past a few more drive thru's. But when they gave that boy to me nothing mattered.
He was perfect.
He just stared at me blinking and blinking.
And I knew.
Life would never be the same <3

Serious love at first sight going on. I think I was still getting stitched lol

Me and my new little Stink

a little bonding

hey fatso. Good thing your baby is so cute.

our little family - day 3

Wow this post was way longer than I had planned. Tomorrow we will talk LoLo.
Serious night and day experiences.

Stay tuned.. you know this stuff is riveting


  1. Aww I loved that story Ash! I remember Laura getting a hold of me the next day bc I didnt give you my new phone number yet. I can't wait to hear Logan's story again :)

  2. I remember getting the text that you were on your way to the hospital...Elijah was soo excited when I told him that you were going to be having the Blake..