Me: I think I need to make some more friends up here.
Laura: Then do it.
Me: But how
Laura:Just smile and be more social
Me: You don't think I'm social? I think its because I have this bitch face.
Laura: Yeah you do have a biotch face
Me: Ughhhhhhhhhh I know. Stupid face. Am I really not social?
Laura: I was just kidding.
Me: I don't think you were tho. Cause I feel like I do get weird sometimes. I was hoping nobody noticed lol
Me (again): Ughhhhh socially awkward with a bitch face.
So a few things were confirmed during this conversation. 1) I have a bitch face. I feel like even when I smile its a bitchy smile face. I'm not though. Here is the thing, I just get awkward sometimes and have no idea how to fix it. Sometimes I will see someone I know and will pretend I don't see them because I am scared that they won't remember me. This happens far more often then I would like to admit.
I also pretend I don't see people sometimes when I know the conversation will be awkward or I will be uncomfortable. And usually when this happens and someone does say hello, I end up saying something stupid. You know about the weather or any random thought that comes to my mind.
Like they will say:
"Hey how are you? How's it going"
and I will say:
"Thanks, you too. see you later".
Embarrassment and humility ensues.
For example a while back I saw a woman at Target who I used to work with a few years ago. I pretended that I didn't see her because I didn't think she would remember me. But after I walked by I changed my mind and figured that she probably did know who I was... So stupid. I don't know why I get like this. I don't remember always being such a weirdo...
So anyway I am going to work on this. How am I going to make an effort to make new friends? I am going to say hello to people I recognize and if they don't recognize me, who cares. I would love for my current triangle of friends up here to turn into a circle. That would be fabuloussssssss....
If I could just get rid of this bitch face.
and speaking of awkward....
all images via pinterest