our first nye together... look at my hair. i want that again.

ever since michael and i got together, i have never really been a fan of new years eve.
it could be because our first new years eve was a huge freaking mess... maybe.
i know nye is supposed to mean starting new. a fresh start. but besides my few resolutions,
i didn't really feel that we, well I, needed a fresh start this year. so january was a lot more of the same.

january wasn't bad. not bad at all.
february is gonna be even better.
adding another porter any day now.
not as miserable as i was a few days ago.
i also weighed myself... i decided to start caring a little early.

january via instagram:

i also got the vine app. find me at ashley porter (so original)
so fun and funny.
check out my first video here.
its not on repeat which makes it a little less funny.
b singing all the single ladies before we told him what the real words were:


being 39 weeks pregnant is for the birds.

i'm over it.
so done being pregnant.

anyone i talk to on a semi regular basis knows i was really ready to be done being pregnant about 3 weeks ago. but now that i know he could come any day and be just fine... I am getting restless and irritable and my back hurts all the time.
remember about 8 months ago when i said i wasn't going to gain a bunch of weight? welllll i am a liar. eating makes me happy. so i eat. anything and everything. mostly everything. my ass is twice as wide as it was 39 weeks ago. i have line marks on my ankles when i take off my socks.
whatever. he will be here soon and then i will worry about getting it all off.

more than all that miserableness, i just want to meet him. i want to hold him and smell him. the other day it hit me that he is an actual person in there. my actual thought was, this baby already has a face. he already looks like something. he has fingernails and eyelashes and will be rocking in the swing in the corner of our living room any day now.

and we will have visitors! grandmas and grandpas and aunts and sisters and friends. im ready to show him off to all of them. i don't even know what he will look like but surely he will be swoon worthy.

the big brothers? they are ready too. i think. i try to ask blake if he is excited or nervous or worried about anything when it comes to having another brother... he usually looks at me like i have two heads and asks for his ds. i'm not overly concerned anymore. probably because i just want him here already.

we shall see. 
any day now.
tomorrow would be good though.


what i learned this week

wouldn't it be great if every friday i shared what i learned that week?
i can share if i want, right?

1. i learned how to contour my face so it won't look so fat. being 38 weeks and 2 days pregnant will make anyones face look a little "round". it's so easy, takes 2 minutes, and it really works. i asked michael if my face looked thinner and he said 'yeah, it really does!'. i'm not 100% sure if he even looked up from his ipad, but i was satisfied with his answer. here's the video for my round faced friends:

2.i learned of became obsessed with the tv show once upon a time. it is so good. i loved ginnifer goodwin in big love on hbo, and after watching an entire season on netflix (22 one hour episodes) in one week, i love her even more.

3. i learned i am still 2 cm dilated and 70% effaced. same as last week.. i had an ultrasound two weeks ago and baby was measuring 6 lbs 7ounces. babies gain an average of 6 ounces a week and so at this rate he is more than big enough for his debut. i will be bouncing on an exercise ball for the next four hours.
**side note**
through the affordable care act health insurance plans have to cover the full cost of breast pumps.
all i had to do to get mine was call my insurance company, give them my id #,and tell them if i wanted electric or manual (who would pick manual?)
then a week later it was delivered right to my door. a good one too. an ameda.
oh hey baby h!
4. i learned i need a bigger jacket.
5. i learned you don't appreciate how thin you are until you... well... aren't.



9 months to today

here is a quick one...
a nine month journey...
only a few weeks... or days (one can hope right?) left.

 and today.....
not so patiently waiting for our new little guy.


Arghh this day

here are some current stats if you are wondering about the poor pitiful state of ashley porter.

current state: tired. all the time. this would not be an issue if sleep came easy. but it just doesn't.

weight gained: 45. i'm just throwing it all out there. i am currently retaining so much water that when i take off my socks my calves have elastic marks indented in them. i miss my wedding and engagement rings. they are so pretty. i put them on and i feel like my finger may explode.

worried about: logan being a middle child, mostly. i have read a jabillion articles on middle child syndrome. i don't want him to get it. at one point i was so ridiculously consumed with what was going to happen to my little boo boo butt that i started searching my facebook friends for middle siblings i deemed "somewhat normal". im also a little concerned about how i am going to juggle three kids, breast feed, do laundry, maintain employment, and keep my house clean. my new mantra will be wwmdd?? or what would michele duggar do? for those of you who can't easily put things together. i worry about losing the weight a little bit. but then i say to myself.... self, you are going to have three kids. you are literally never never never going to sit down. do you have any idea how many cups of juice you are going to pour in a given day. then my mind wanders ten years from now when i will have teenagers, and, how i wont be able to afford mac anymore because i will be spending all my money on tostino pizza rolls and gatorade.

looking forward to: baby smell. oh, it is just the best. i love smelling a newborns head... a sub. a good one with lots of shaved turkey and american cheese and shredded lettuce and red onion (someone please take note)... wearing my favorite old navy skinny jeans again. and buying some red ones in the same size. i really want red skinnies. im not exactly sure why... watching b and lo with there baby broski. actually move that up to the worried about/looking forward to category. you just never know...


45 life lessons.

My cousin Kira shared this amazing list of 45 life lessons written by Ohio columnist Regina George on her Facebook page yesterday.
It might be one of the best things I have ever read. My favorite kind of advice is direct, to the point, usually common sense and straight forward.
It is definitely worth the read, especially on our most off days.
To good not to share.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step..

3. Life is too short - enjoy it..

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7... Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9.. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11... Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it...

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye But don't worry; God never blinks.

16... Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to be happy. But it's all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't
save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23 Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will
this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive but don't forget.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does..

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38.. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd
grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

I can't decide which lesson I like best. 13? 22? 29? 37? 40?  They are all so good.



January 3rd = Resolution Day

It's January 2nd, I am still in my pajamas, I am pretty sure if you could overdose on cupcakes I would be in the hospital right now, and my living room floor looks like a toy box vomited all over it.

I spent my New Years Eve eating McDonald's with B and Lo, watching Boomerang, and, once the kids were asleep I started a 2012 recap blog post that took me three hours. Yesterday, I spent my morning making the devil's dessert (vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting and rainbow sprinkles), cutting up a bunch of fruits and veggies for a New Years day party we hosted and then spending two hours of alone time at my personal Disney World... Target.

--- Side bar, there is really nothing better than going to Target with a $100 gift card, on New Years day, when everything is on sale, and a promise to yourself that said gift card will only be spent on things YOU want. I walked out with a sweater, shirt, new watch, new dip bowls, hair dye, eyelashes, and new slippers. End side bar.---
We had a New Years Day get together here, which was a really nice way to ring in 2013. Meeting new friends, shoveling all sorts of delicious food down my throat (seriously, I was unstoppable), watching the kids play together nicely with limited time outs, and sending kids and dad's downstairs together, for pretty much uninterrupted conversations.

So, now it is January 2nd and I have been thinking the past two days of what I want 2013 to look like. What I want to focus on, so at the end of this year I can look back and be happy with the end result.
1. More music. It makes me happy. All kinds.
2. Keep up with me. I am a big believer in the mantra when you look good, you feel good, when you feel good, you do good. Sometimes I get tired and lazy. A lot of the time I throw a zip up and yoga pants on and call it an outfit. I don't paint my nails or whiten my teeth or brish my hair (seriously). These are all things that make me happy. It isn't going to be easy the next few months with my very pregnant and post baby body, but, I can do it. If I see something I like and that will make me happy, I will just buy it and wear it or do it, instead of wondering if it 'is me', or if other people will like it. 
3. Take more pictures. Of everything.
First day of the year and I already failed at this one. New Years day party and I didn't even pull the camera out of the case. It would be nice to learn more about my camera and take sleeker pictures, but taking more pictures in full auto mode will be just fine.
More pictures, more saved memories. Everyone loves pictures.
4. Stop sweating the small stuff. Take more deep breaths. Pick my battles. Figure out a better plan for discipline. Enjoy my kids more. Ask myself when I'm annoyed with Michael if it even matters.
Essentially, continue working on being a better wife, mother, person.
5. More fun. More travel. More visitors. More getting out and doing things.
Get out of the house more.
6. Pay down debt.
   wah -wahhh
(This sucks - No picture here)
7. Reconnect with old friends/ Be a better friend in general
Some friendships come to an end and both people are okay with it. You look back and kind of ask yourself how the friendship lasted as long as it did, you see how different you both are and you move on. Then there are the friendships you look back on and think, I miss them, how did this happen?
Those are the ones I will be working on.
That's it for now. It's a growing list, a working list.  
I am pretty sure those 7 things will keep me pretty busy.