Arghh this day

here are some current stats if you are wondering about the poor pitiful state of ashley porter.

current state: tired. all the time. this would not be an issue if sleep came easy. but it just doesn't.

weight gained: 45. i'm just throwing it all out there. i am currently retaining so much water that when i take off my socks my calves have elastic marks indented in them. i miss my wedding and engagement rings. they are so pretty. i put them on and i feel like my finger may explode.

worried about: logan being a middle child, mostly. i have read a jabillion articles on middle child syndrome. i don't want him to get it. at one point i was so ridiculously consumed with what was going to happen to my little boo boo butt that i started searching my facebook friends for middle siblings i deemed "somewhat normal". im also a little concerned about how i am going to juggle three kids, breast feed, do laundry, maintain employment, and keep my house clean. my new mantra will be wwmdd?? or what would michele duggar do? for those of you who can't easily put things together. i worry about losing the weight a little bit. but then i say to myself.... self, you are going to have three kids. you are literally never never never going to sit down. do you have any idea how many cups of juice you are going to pour in a given day. then my mind wanders ten years from now when i will have teenagers, and, how i wont be able to afford mac anymore because i will be spending all my money on tostino pizza rolls and gatorade.

looking forward to: baby smell. oh, it is just the best. i love smelling a newborns head... a sub. a good one with lots of shaved turkey and american cheese and shredded lettuce and red onion (someone please take note)... wearing my favorite old navy skinny jeans again. and buying some red ones in the same size. i really want red skinnies. im not exactly sure why... watching b and lo with there baby broski. actually move that up to the worried about/looking forward to category. you just never know...

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